Alone again…

Alone again…this happens so much

Desperately waitin for love’s tender touch

Yet seconds lead to days…days to years

Findin solace in alcohol whilst swallowin my tears

Life comes but once…wat happens then

Death comes welcome…the question is when

Am I not special? For me u have no time

Cant force u to love me…u never be mine’(

By-Renee Ruth

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so much pain...

 

so much pain

even I cannot solace

what words can comfort

there is no more bliss

wont u allow me in ur heart

give me special place

i yearn ur love an care

in ur busy life…pls give me a space

By-Renee_Ruth



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would you even really miss me.?

would you even really miss me.? 

if I weren’t here?

fall in love with me finally

if I was no longer near?

ur time so limited

too precious for me

waitin ur any contact

still I message incessantly

one day I shall depart

from ur life or mine

til then im forever urs

to the end of time

BY-Renee_Ruth

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is there nothin I can do right?

 

is there nothin I can do right?

everythin a worry an fight…

call me names tear me down

use abuse push me around

fat f…k ; hungry am i?

a life like this id rather die”(

no comfort no ease

torture…ur temper I cant appease

pls let me go…im not ready to die

pleas only end wen my lifeless body says bye”(

By-Renee_Ruth

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Is there anyone to love me?

Is there anyone to love me?
Comfort an treat me tenderly

Billion souls on this earth
Yet my heart continues to hurt

Not alone yet so lonely
To live this pain if only

To be happy an free
Yet I continue to plea

Wont someone truly love me
Accept an appreciate me…finally

By-Renee_Ruth

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So wat will it take..

So wat will it take

To mend ur heartache?

For u to love me

An accept that she

Is gone from ur life

An I wish to be ur wife

Or will u dear 

Mourn to have her near

While I wait

But don’t be too late

For time will not stand still

My life I want u fill

But alas

Our timin so vast

Our world so different an far

Yet u forever remain my ardour… 

By-Renee_Ruth

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Somewhere I can finally be happy”(

I need refuge…a safe place....

Away from this madness I have to face

Daily a struggle…a neverendin trend

With no hope of improving, no hope of an end

Im no best thing no ‘hi-grade’

Then why stay an insult an degrade

Think im stupid an not pretty?

Have scarred face an fat body?

Then pls let me leave an be

Somewhere I can finally be happy”(

By-Renee_Ruth

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How much Lord….

 

How much Lord….how much can I take?

Bruised battered used…my heart will forever ache?

Release me from this prison this utter pain

Take my soul an kill it…please deaden my brain

Constant name callin nothing ever nice

Please Lord…turn my warm body to ice

By-Renee_Ruth

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Look at me what u see?

Look at me wat u see?

Always smiling forever happy

Gait light…demeanor carefree

Tease on my lips as sweet as bee

But look closer through these eyes

That sparkle that never dies

Beyond seemin happiness…but beware

Least u drown in my despair

The pain…the agony inside

Away from this world I carefully hide

No one to trust no one to confide

Silently suffer while torment is amplified

By-Renee_Ruth

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Cant force u to love me..

Cant force u to love me

Or show me u care

Keep longin for ur company

Cause I miss u an wish u always near

When ur happy I smile

Ur every mood affects me

Ur busy life an distance

Our different timin…makes me lonely

Wishin for u always

With each passin day

Every moment with u

Is precious an hope u stay

By-Renee_Ruth

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Wherever I go I wish you to be with me

Wherever I go I wish you to be with me

Ur face in everything is all I can see

Ur words…our talks repeat in my brain

Anxiously awaiting the moment we’re together again

I miss u so much …if only u were here

Wishing waiting hoping…just want u near…

By-Renee_Ruth

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How do u hate me....?

 

How do u hate me?...let me count the ways

Abuse an name callin…make my dreary days

Fat f…ker…ugly ass…cat-hole am i?

Cunt-hole an hungry indian…u make me sigh

No high grade best thing…no pink skin

Fat ugly an stupid like my own kin

Threaten my life…bruise my body

Beat an torment me…make me bloody

Think I have no brains? No common sense?

My head thick wicked nasty an dense?

Please just stop…shut up I scream inside

But alas no comfort…relief im denied

But its my ego that’s damaged

Soul hurtin an discouraged

Hopin for an end to this madness

Driftin away deeper into life’s abyss

Loneliness my forever friend

With me to my bitter end

By-Renee_Ruth

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Night was cold…

Night was cold….in darkness I lay

Prostrate an shiverin I began to pray

Face first in the mattress…hands coverin my head

Listenin to his threats…tonight im dead

Back my neck a heavy blade

Shoutin an cursin…on me it weighed

Alas flesh gave up an felt a heat

Slowly pourin blood makin puddle in the sheet

I give up my body feels numb

Once love, now this? Wat have we become?

As my body goes limber u finally stop

Only relief when my ghost has given up...:((

By-Renee_Ruth

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Who am I to u....

Who am I to u

Bag to punch black an blue

Words so harsh an mean

Under garb bruises unseen

Under my skin 

Behind my forever grin

There lies a mess within

My wits stretched thin

All of me beggin an screamin

While outer smile is beamin

No one can know my pain

Wat life I live again an again…

By-Renee_Ruth

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an the dream is dying ...

u call me a dreamer...

an the dream is dying ...

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Another sleepless night....

Another sleepless night

Try with all my might

Fight back the tears

Allay all my fears

Darkness on my face show

Eyes dark dead pools overflow

How to stop this constant pain

Stress…the strain over an again

Cryin out in vain heart torn an shred

This can only end with bloodshed….

By:-Renee_Ruth

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He said....

I will kill u he said

$2000 to make u dead

I beg an plea but of wat use

Eagerly he awaits any excuse

This life to live in fear

Nothing I hold is considered dear

Who cares for me? Who will protect?

My duties I dare not neglect

Tread careful an be wise

Before this tragedy demise…

By:-Renee_Ruth

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